...Something is badly off the rails in this country when a junior punk's penis is going to be made public.
"...Not unlike sitting in the hospital waiting room waiting for your first child to be born or anxiously watching the news for the results of a Presidential election, the world now waits with bated breath to see the penis of purported singer, alleged felon and all-around Canadian rascal, Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber’s penis is now a matter of public record, which let’s be frank is more than most men can say of their own penises, and a photo of Justin Bieber’s penis will soon be released into the wild of the internet.
Judge William Altfield of the Miami-Dade County Court has decreed that, collaterally speaking, Justin Bieber’s penis can and will be used evidence in his recent Miami arrest. The judge plans to release five videos from the arrest night, including, but not limited to, a video of Justin Bieber’s penis as he is taking a urine test. As Miami Herald reports, authorities will “shade or blacken” Justin Bieber’s penis.
While the universe aims to busy itself with matters of actual importance, Justin Bieber’s penis looms large on the horizon. Justin Bieber’s attorney previously argued that Justin Bieber’s penis need not even enter into the court proceedings.
“This is not a hard line to draw, all we are asking is that first, the court hold an en camera review,” said one of Justin Bieber’s defense attorneys Howard Srebnick to CBS Miami. “Second, that the court hold as a matter of law, a presumptively innocent person, if the police film him or her urinating, there’s no reason for the media to make a spectacle of it, even if the person is a high-profile person.”
Another lawyer, CBS4/Herald attorney Scott Ponce, argued that it is in the public’s best interest — nay it is their right — to see Justin Bieber’s penis.
“If part of a public record is exempt, you redact what is exempt and produce everything else,” Ponce told the court, referring to Justin Bieber’s penis. “It sounds like [Justin Bieber] is urinating in them. I think the issue is do we see [Justin Bieber's] penis or do we not? Under the public records rule, we redact what can be seen, and let the rest out. Put a black bar over [Justin Bieber's penis] and let the rest out.”
Whetting the galaxy’s curiosity surrounding Justin Bieber’s penis are recently released photos of all of his tattoos around his body, also now a matter of public record to be entered as evidence.
Previous videos of Justin Bieber’s arrest do not show Justin Bieber’s penis, rather they show Justin Bieber being frisked. This video will also be used as evidence.
Justin Bieber’s penis, whose blurry shape will soon be known to all life forms in this world and the next, originally became a matter stemming from Justin Bieber’s arrest in Miami, where he was charged with drag racing and driving under the influence. He tested positive for marijuana and Xanax, which was verified after a urine test, wherein Justin Bieber’s penis played a key role.
Cancer Sucks. Help the girls gang up on Breast Cancer.
10th Annual Faith Fancher Breast Cancer Challenge Saturday, August 23, 2014 Gazebo - Lake Merritt, Oakland
See more at www.FaithFancher.org
FOF Board Members Rosie Allen, Cheryl Ward, Pam Moore, Barbara Rodgers and Thelma Simmons with Eileen Fisher Store Managers Maguerite Croptier and Susanne Harkness. Second photo: FOF Board Members Rita Williams, Pam Moore, Cheryl Hurd, Thelma Simmons and Rosie Allen with FOF Officer Coordinator, Laura Marcus.
NYT Bombshell: Women Prefer Manly Men. “Really. It took a feature-length article in the magazine to explain to readers that when men act less like men, heterosexual women want to have sex with them less. Despite women being told that they want men more involved in traditionally female household tasks like cooking, cleaning and childcare, when men actually do so, wives find their husbands considerably less sexy. . . . The word ‘submission’ was used four times in the piece, a radical concept for radical feminists.”
WOODBRIDGE, N.J. Michael and Olympia DeNittis literally spent a lifetime together in New Jersey, and died just hours apart this week.
As CBS 2’s Jessica Schneider reported the Woodbridge, N.J., couple was laid to rest on Friday and will now be together forever.
Michael DeNittis, 94, and Olympia DeNittis, 95, met after their Italian immigrant parents arrived in America.
“They were together for 67 years in marriage; however, they were childhood sweethearts,” said their granddaughter, Ann Marie McDonald.
Michael and Olympia DeNittis grew up in the same neighborhood, and their family said they were never much more than a block apart. That was the way Olympia planned to keep it.
But then three years ago, Michael was diagnosed with cancer.
“She said, ‘What am I going to do without you?’” McDonald said. “And he said, ‘You’ll find your way.’”
But three weeks ago, it was Olympia who caught pneumonia. She passed away early Sunday morning.
It was unexpected, as Michael was the one with terminal cancer. But he did not want to die.
“I knew that she knew that he loved his life and wanted to continue living it,” McDonald said. “So I think she wanted to predecease him, to some extent, to kind of welcome him into heaven.”
Just one day later on Monday afternoon, McDonald said goodbye to her grandfather, knowing he was rejoining his wife.
“I would love to have each of them here with me today,” she said. “But since that’s not possible, this was the next best thing.”
The family took comfort in the fact that Michael and Olympia DeNittis will never know the pain of living without each other.
The couple’s funeral took place at the same church where they were married 67 years ago.
A love story. Pure and Simple. I hope to emulate it - many, many years into the future. MM
Here's an idea I read about: let's email a copy of the constitution around to each other. Maybe the NSA will see it.
But seriously, folks....
California residents claim they saw strange lights in the sky on New Year’s morning.
While federal authorities say there has been no “unusual flight activity” in the area, those who witnessed the unidentified lights say they were not mistaken about what they saw, KXTV reports.
"I seen like six bright orange colored lights, Kaye Pinlac, from Stockton, Calif., said. "And they were almost like in a diamond or triangle shape. It was weird. And so they started just separating."
The lights were spotted by residents from Placer County to the Hollywood Hills. Each witness had a different way of describing what they saw.