Girlfriend relationships. They are so important to women. And when they go awry, bitter feelings linger and nasty things happen. So, I took time from my busy schedule to offer some healing words for these two gals.
Dear Nancy and Cindy,
I know there is so much bitterness between you. I wish it were not so. You must set aside your hurt feelings and come together, for the sake of the country, uh, the fractured Democratic/liberal/communist/socialist cabal of America-haters.
I am here to offer my help as a mediator. A counselor, if you will.
I know that you both despise me for my viewpoint that we must support our troops and their mission, but please set aside the fact that I am ideologically "different" from you, and accept my help in the spirit for which it is intended.
Please, take a page from Rodney King. "Can't we all just get along?"